The One With the 2019 Recap

Recapping my 2019 and Laying out my Plan for 2020

2019: Thank you for the lessons; 2020: Let's do this!

If I had to recap 2019 in a few words, I think I'd choose peaks and valleys. I had a lot of ups but I also had a lot of downs as well. My ups were really up and then my downs were equally as down. 2019 was probably one of the roughest years I've had in awhile due to this.

January - March

January started out my year great. I was busy with work and my normal trade show seasons. I planned a successful season and helped with our most successful fashion show to date. I felt like everything was falling into place. February took those feelings and laughed in my face with them. Another trade show down. This time at least, I got to meet Emmett from Lego Movie 2 😂 March things started to look up for me. I started working out again and counting macros again. I had more energy and was feeling very "up".

April - June

Looking back these months were some of the more challenging. During these months is when I let my anxiety get so out of control that I started cutting. You can read about my anxiety here (The One with All the Anxiety During this time though, I also completed my first Tighter Together Challenge (read about it here - The One with the Health Challenge), started bi weekly therapy sessions and started this blog. I had nephews graduate and celebrated my great niece's first birthday and spent time with family and friends. So although these months felt harder, they also started to feel like things were back in my control again.

July - September

July saw a death in my "family" (close friends whom I consider family lost their grandmother). During this time of sorrow, we found much joy spending time together though. This quarter was very much another "up" quarter for me, at least during the first half. August showed me how amazing my friends are with the greatest gift I have ever received. September brought another Tighter Together Challenge. Which I did great in for 2 weeks. Then I was hit with probably the lowest of lows during the year. I struggled to get out of bed and even make it to work. I shut down and shut out my friends and family. No real trigger like earlier in the year. Just bam. September also brought the start of my blue hair 😂

October - December

Things started swing up again in this quarter. My mindset began to clear and I found myself focusing on myself again. Not in the narcissistic way, but in the getting healthy mind and body way. I continued to find great joy with my nieces and nephews. A morning routine brought me a sense of accomplishment and purpose. Although I had a rough holiday season, it overall was a good quarter. I'm ending the year feeling grateful, blessed and optimistic.

Don't let the bad days make you think you have a bad life

2020 Vision

I may have felt like I had a rough and challenging year, but I still am very blessed. I have wonderful friends who are as close as family. My nieces and nephews continue to bring me true happiness. I have a wonderful mentor and coach for my job. I am a daughter of a King. Truly, I have a great life. Just some rough patches. But these rough patches have made me stronger. Helped me learn and grow. I couldn't be the person I am today without those trials and without my broken heart. I am a better person for facing and overcoming these challenges.

For 2020 my word of the year is going to be intentional. I'm going to be intentional with my time. Intentional with my actions. Intentional with my workouts. Intentional about what I put in my mouth. Intentional with whom I spend my time with. Intentional with growing my business. I'm going to put this word around me in as many ways as possible.

I'm going to focus on self love. I found a quote I put on my mirror as a motto to get me started "Dear Self: When you start taking care of yourself, you start feeling better, you start looking better, you start to attract better. It all starts within you". Some other things I'm going to start/continue to do help me on this path to the best year yet:

Listen to daily affirmations. Some of these include

I am falling in love with myself more and more each day
Anxiety has no control over me
I choose progress over perfection
Stress has no affect on me; I live a stress free life.

Daily prayer and scripture reading. Admittedly, I feel off this habit in 2019. I know that repairing my relationship with Heavenly Father will go a long way with repairing my relationship with myself.
Drinking the stupid water. My goal is a gallon a day.
Weekly, if not daily, self development. This will include podcasts, books, lectures etc.
Setting boundaries and not allowing myself to pour from an empty cup.
Focusing on my strength and getting back full force on the macro train.

2020 will be amazing because I will make it amazing. I know I will still have trials but I will look at them immediately through the lense of gratitude and see what I can learn from them. I will choose joy and self improvement over sorrow and self criticism. My wish for you is the same. That you have the best start to the best decade of your life. May you find joy in every situation. May you choose love. May this be your healthiest year yet. May your dreams come true.

Love you all! J

Update May 2020 Little did optimistic me know what 2020 would bring.....